and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize