haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
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I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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