great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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