I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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