Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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