I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
im six kinds of drunk right now
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
