I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up