my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....