im holly from the hills drunk
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy