Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing

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(304): View more from West Virginia

yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(360): View more from Washington

Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes

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(303): View more from Colorado

i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.

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(226): View more from Ontario

He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys

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(503): View more from Oregon

I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon

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