Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.