ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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