my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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