If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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