Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
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I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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