Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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