Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
