i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
