you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
