I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
