She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
