I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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