i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
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Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
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You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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