Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He better not be in your backpack
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
