yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
