feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
