We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
