Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
