Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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