You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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