Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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