She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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