Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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