it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
