Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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