i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
