What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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