Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
