Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
This is the prime rib incident all over again
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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