Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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