I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
there is glitter all over my balls
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