I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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