OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
