Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
