did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
