Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
