I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
