Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
