i barfeds in our rink
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize