Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
either way he was missing a nipple.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
