Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
