i was born a porn star she said
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
