nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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