she woke up with a sticky ear
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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