Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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