It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
