I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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