return my video game
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
