who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
