Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
