dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
