she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
