How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You're like the curious george of whores
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
