went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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