and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
