Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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