i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
