He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
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Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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